My spleen began to swell when I read that Empire: Total War’s elite units – for which Creative Assembly tactically charges an extra £5 to receive – would feature in multiplayer. I’m now overflowing with bilious fluids, in desperate need of a draining. Listen to my complaints, dear doctor, and distract me long enough to syringe my sensitive spots. Now, admittedly, my fury has been inflamed by a simple forum post, but that’s the kind of solid-sourcing you’ll have come…
The introduction of gunpowder caused a paradigm shift in the world of journalism – felt most gropingly in the distance from which news can be launched. Though the announcement of a demo for Empire: Total War was explosively propelled from Shacknews’ battery yesterday, the impact has only just been felt at The Reticule – with some of us literally reduced to bloody stumps, such is the extent of our excitement. The title for Shacknews’ shed sharing was Empire: Total War…
Game Politics reports that a bill before the Oklahoma state senate proposes tax breaks for game developers, but only if their game is suitable the less world-weary gamer under the age of 17. If their game is rated M (Mature) or AO (Adults Only), there’s really no reason for developers to mount up and move to Oklahoma besides the [whatever people in Oklahoma grow, possess, or participate in].
Strategy game developers are doing society a disservice through the simplicity of the mind-nommings they serve. Unless we’re particularly resilient to the understandings put forth by others (or misguided enough to believe so), games alter and contribute to our framework for comprehending reality. Strategy games are alone in portraying an experience many of us are likely to never have – control of people and objects beyond ourselves – so when a framework is established, we’ll find it difficult to evolve…
Finally – a reason to keep unliving! Blue’s News reports they woke up this morning and opened their curtains to a fresh layer of green ooze covering the desolate urban wastes. In short, our fleshy beings are to be spoiled rotten with the L4D Survival Pack – which is said to be transmitted via a series of tubes. Once infected, and after a brief patching period, the new content is said to have a transformative effect upon standard choc-chip L4D….
You might have heard of a little game called Mount and Blade. Phill did a little piece about it here. For those of you who have not, it’s a simulation of what Pippa Funnel’s ancestors must have been like – it’s violent, it’s thinksome, and it features a fair few studs. It’s also due an expansion. Quite whether this extra content will cost us a Valve-update-volume of pfennigs remains beyond this scribbler’s powers of investigation. One thing’s for certain, if…
Even though 82% of people in my age group profess a fondness for polygons, data provided by the most steadfast (anecdotal) evidence from a trusted (personal) source conducted exhaustively and longitudinally (over the past week) leads me to believe that talk of videogames is best kept to a minimum, ‘lest matron tell the housemaster.
That’s Lionhead mane man Peter Mole News, fair reader – nothing to do with partially-blind dirt dwellers (and you leave my aunty out of this anyway, she has a condition). Shacknews reports that some guy at Lionhead says that there’s currently no port of Fable 2 in a suitable deep-water harbour and that the district governers will tell us if that situation ever changes. What a coincidence it is that people who make games so often feel uncertain as to…
It’s time to lay down some home truths – so stop looking semi-detached, open your mind to new ideas (since we share this spacious living room) and consider giving me your pennies if you can afford an Easterly outlook. The truth, my impossible-to-ignore sex-noise neighbours, is that computer games are a total waste of time. Just as a compulsive liar will eventually come to believe their own fallacy, during the course of attempting to persuade nay-sayers of our hobby’s legitimacy,…
I have an alcohol problem – I’ve ran out and the shops haven’t opened yet. Debased, gaming’s intoxicating varnish begins to crack and peel. Patrician 3 – the rum-soaked naval-trading game – is naught but an exercise in navel-gazing without the unsteady waves of surreal unpredictability lent to a ‘Big in Germany’ game by a few quarts of ale. Let’s talk about boozed-up arithmetic engine fun times.