For over a year now, I’ve observed an unsettling trend in class-based shooters.
Instead of standing proudly amongst equals, one class has, through no fault of its own become the unwanted cousin. They’ve become the runt of the class-based litter, attracting names like ‘the coward’, ‘the camper’ and ‘the noob.’
Far behind the scuffles on the front line, they watch patiently, waiting for the perfect moment to strike. But despite their devotion to the cause of bringing people to an end, they are still looked down upon by those around them.
Let me introduce the solution:
The Gentleman Sniper’s Club
An entirely unofficial organisation, membership of the Gentlemen Snipers Club is freely available to anyone who agrees to the following terms of combat. Whether male or female, just by following some simple guidelines the sniper can elevate himself (or herself) above the simple rabble around him, becoming a symbol of pride on the battlefield. Whether you see him or not, if you are killed by a gentleman sniper, you can rest assure you were killed with care and attention to detail.
These rules must be followed religiously in all class-based shooters if membership is to be maintained.
GSC Membership Regulations.
1.) You shall never shoot a man just because he’s climbing a ladder. Allow him to accomplish this simple task before rewarding him with your time and ammunition.
2.) Before shooting a fellow gentleman sniper in the head, you should always compliment him on his finely chosen hiding place.
3.) Any jibes must be well written, articulate, and you should never resort to L33t sp34k. There is no excuse for poor spelling on the battlefield – if you can spare the time to kill a man, you can certainly spare the time to correctly craft him a witty comment.
4.) In the event of your unexpected demise, you should always endeavour to compliment your opponent on a fine kill.
5.) Sniper duels are neither time consuming, nor pointless. If a fellow sniper wishes to exchange bullets in what we like to refer to as “a gentleman’s debate”, by all means take the time to oblige him, until one of you is persuaded to ‘agree’.
6.) If you are unable to eliminate a target in two shots, congratulate him on evading you and select a new target. This does not include during a ‘gentleman’s debate’, which will continue until an ‘agreement’ is met.
7.) Always aim for the head. There is no excuse for sloppiness, a poorly aimed shot is the epitome of impoliteness.
8.) A gentlemanly sniper position is one in which a fellow gentleman sniper may kindly return your shots.
9.) Bolt action should ALWAYS be selected over semi-auto. Semi automatic weapons encourage sloppiness. If you cannot take the time to load a round for your target, then you are hardly qualified to bring about his demise.
10.) Close combat is for soldiers. A gentleman sniper does not become embroiled in close combat.
11.) Spawn killing is not permitted by the GSC. Allow your opponent a period in which to appreciate the surroundings in which he is about to die. After all, it will be the last view he sees.
By following these simple regulations and applying an element of style and sophistication to the art of killing-people-from-quite-a-considerable-distance-away, it is my hope that respect for the sniper’s role will, over time, return to the fore.
Good shooting, gentlemen.